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The Cape Cod Globe Gazette

Constant bickering within the USATF-CIO and questions about its’ effectiveness has led to the formation of a potential new governing body for track and field within the United States. Over the past year there has been increasing momentum to restructure the manner in which the sport is organized and promoted. More specifically, over the last six months there had been many innovative ideas circulating on track and field message boards, most noticeably on “A grassroots approach to solving the problems inherent within the current system was absolutely necessary,” claimed Weldon Johanson, co-founder of “It was obvious that USATF-CIO as it is now structured was unable or unwilling to keep our sport healthy”.

The new organization is broken into three branches. The youth organization is called LetsStart. Its’ primary function is to offset the lure of the “money sports” that siphons off many of this country’s best talents. It will rely on celebrity stars to promote the message that it can be fun and exciting to compete in a sport with long hours, and few opportunities for financial reward. The only drawback so far has been the inability to find a celebrity.

The development stage will be called LetsTrain and will be the knowledge base necessary to educate the promising high school and collegiate runners. It will be patterned after the current message board. This high-brow provider of elite training standards has already answered such questions as “Who ate at Taco Bell last weekend?”, “Is it OK to vomit in a finish chute?” and “How can I get a scholarship when I run 2:07 in the half?”.

The national level stage will be called LetsWin. It will focus on getting foreign athletes who have been trained to success in American colleges to apply for US citizenship.

In a related story the USATF-CIO has attempted to retain its’ position by initiating reforms designed to re-innervate the sport.

The Cape Cod Noontime Globe Gazette

"Containing a grain of truth"