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I can't remember the exact meet, but I remember the group of athletes. We were discussing a race and one of the athletes remarked on how great the time was. So trying to confirm just how sterling it was I said, “That's F.A.T.” The group thought I said, “That's phatt.” They got a big kick out of how cool I was. Just saying this proved how cool I wasn't.

Well, I guess you had to be there. It was funny at the time. Phatt, F.A.T., and fat all have something to do with track and field – but they shouldn't be confused. So here is the difference.

Phatt is good, At the time it was the latest in a long line of positive reinforcements that started with neat and ended with hip. In between we saw boss, cool, groovy, rad, right on, fab and mod.

F.A.T. is fully automatic timing. The point I was trying to make is that when you cite an F.A.T. time it is even more impressive. F.A.T. timing looks slower because of the delay in reaction time of a human timer. There is a gap between the sighting of the smoke of the gun and the timer's depression of the start button of the watch. (While we are on the topic the watch must be depressed with the index finger. It provides the fastest reaction. The thumb will lose the race with the index finger every time.)

Now you may say, “Isn't there also a delayed reaction in the depression of the button at the finish?” Not so, unenlightened one. The timer watches the athlete approach the finish and is able to anticipate the point at which the runner will cross the line.

There is a standard comparison between F.A.T. and hand timing. If the gun were located at the finish line you would take .14 off of the F.A.T. time to get the hand-timed equivalent.   If the gun is located away from the finish such as the 100M, 200M or 300MHurdles the subtraction is .24. That is why it is important for seeding purposes to know whether the time provided was FAT or hand.

So if you get a great time FAT it is phatt.

Let's review. F.A.T. is good because it is accurate but looks bad because it's a slower looking time. But if you're fast FAT you are definitely phatt.

Here is where confusion comes in. If you are slow FAT you are bad. But if you are fast FAT you are really BAD.

To put it another way, if you are bad, FAT makes you look worse.

Now I intended to talk about fat which can be both good and bad but that will have to wait until our nutrition talk. So until then, this little rhyme will help.

FAT is bad unless you're good

Phatt is good unless you're bad

But if you're really, really BAD

Even FAT won't make you sad.